I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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