i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm sobbing to NWA
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