i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
