perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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