you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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