That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
