he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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