Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
