i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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