Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.

Fav 14 4271 1603
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(303): View more from Colorado

You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.

Fav 2 1742 1124
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(416): View more from Toronto

Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

Fav 59 1248 5688
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(214): View more from Texas

Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy

Fav 6 1097 826
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(406): View more from Montana

I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one

Fav 3 1163 650
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory

Fav 1 409 549
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I brought my porn computer to class by accident

(213): View more from California

How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?

Fav 0 65 38
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