it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
