college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
