Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
