I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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