I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im holly from the hills drunk
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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