somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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