i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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