What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
