i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
