Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
