Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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