he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
