I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
