I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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