apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i think i just lost a toe
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
