Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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