The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
whose ass print is on the piano?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize