Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
