I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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