yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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