I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
