Swine flu. Run for my life!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
