I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
