You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
