yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
