is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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