He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
there's paper in my vomit.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
