we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
