I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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