Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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