maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
