I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
