Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
