i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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