Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
