im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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