it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
