Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize