I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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