it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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