They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
