i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
