Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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