Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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