Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize