If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My penis needs a shock collar
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize