I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
