Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize