Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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